I stole this from an old wench thread.

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter represented.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to Hell.

The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to Hell.

The third blonde said she knew what Easter was, and St. Peter said, "So, tell me." She said," Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when He was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested Him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder...

St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."

Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted.

I had a wonderful time last night, despite the fact that no one showed up or even bothered to call, except Pauline. The most important people were there, me, Wendy, and the band. Maire, and Johnny brought me a Guiness each, they sang Three Drunken Maidens to us, and then sang Happy Birthday to me!! It was wonderful, and our server Murph was wonderful. All in all it was the best birthday I have had in a long time! I even got a hug and kiss from Peter, and I didn't have to approach him, he came to me! I got hugs and kisses from everyone! I am such an attention slut! Big thanks to everyone, for showing me such a good time!

Saw the boys at Raglan, and had a wonderful time. I made the fudge again! Everyone seemed very excited about that! Hopefully the sugar free one came out ok. The guys were fantastic as ususal, and I bought the CD. It is very good so far. I would have like more a couple of other songs on it, but that is ok

Give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. Put this in your journal, so I can return the favor. And once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag so that when you are feeling down, you can go to that entry for a quick pick-me-up and a smile.
I stole, I mean borrowed this from celtic_blonde, who borrowed it from sweete lady!

I had a really fucked up dream last night. It started off really pleasant tough. It started that I was in a middle eastern restaurant, and it was beautifully decorated, but it was also like a matchmaking service. The head woman there dressed me up in a beautiful pink (shudder) dress. It was really nice though for being pink. I enjoyed dinner with the lovely man she set me up with. I had a really good time in the dream....until....it then changed, although the people remained the same. Our wonderful party was interupted by the news that a serial killer had struck again in that neighborhood. So with all the logic of dreams, we decided to use one of us girls as bait and catch the guy ourselves. Well, it works, they guy takes the bait, and then things go horribly wrong and he pulls the girl outside in the woods and starts to strangle her. I come running out of the house to try and save her. He screams at me to stay where I am or else, of course I don't listen. I am runnig through the trees, trying to dodge the bullets, because lo and behold he has a rifle. At one point I get grazed in the hip, but I am ok enough to keep going. He seems to think I am down for the count because he continues to try to strangle the girl, and then pulls out a knife to stab her. At this point I am right behind him and I am able to grab the knife, we struggle a little, but I am finally able to turn it around and stab him with it. At that point I reach over to find a gun and shoot him 6 times, just to be sure. Then the dream faded away, and I woke up.....weird.

I work with really special people. I mean really special people.
I had to show someone today how to open a file cabinet door.
Another special person today picked up two of our plushes today, Chip and Dale and asked how do you tell the difference. Understandable. Well, what we tell the kids is that Chip has a little brown nose like a chocolate chip. This lovely person, then picked up the plush Chip, sniffed him and said it doesn't smell like chocolate.
Special special people.
Oh yeah, and a young lady proclaimed that she doesn't like fruit in her apple sauce....

Rebound Sex! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really needed that.

There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other path
No other way
No day but today